Renowned blogger Bruce Wills-It called English “a throwback to a time when the Scots were given no voice” and “the equivalent to a reporter covering the black community being called David Uncle-Tom”.
A spokesperson told reporters that your mum tested well in surveys, with as much as 77% of voters answering “yes” to the question “do you love your mom?”
This new attack comes despite condemnation, with Tim Kaine suggesting Trump has no empathy, and Republican adviser Randall Flagg shaking his head and saying “Jesus Christ, cool it.”
Maternity grants will be renamed 'best start grants' and funeral payments will be called 'best ending grants' to make people feel better about needing them.
Murphy refused to clarify whether he'd interviewed for any jobs, saying that he'd “love to go over that” with us then continually refusing to address the point.
Kaine cited Trump's failed businesses and products such as Trumpon Feminine Hygiene, the GR8 Trump Assault Rifle and his unsuccessful theme park Trumpland.
Captain Taylor Wentworth said: "Officers were led to believe Mr Kinsey was a sadistic sexual predator. In that respect, our officers did their job heroically."
President Erdogan's government has moved to assure the international community that Turkey has not fallen into repression and tyranny while smiling cheerfully and making heavy use of emojis.
Theresa May sided with the Antichrist, due to the rough beast possessing the “unifying spirit” and “ruthless abandon” necessary to bring Britain together.
Mr Johnson only worsened his ordeal as he said he wanted to "simplify Syria", "tackle issues around the former Egypt" and "put the Shah back into Persia".
Political correspondent James Knochenmus said: “Unfortunately, we live in an age where dressing like a minstrel will go down terribly; Melania should know that.”
Temperatures are expected to exceed around 100,000,000C, with locals warned to wear plenty of sun tan lotion and hide in the bathtub with a mattress on top of them.
The Skynet mainframe acts as a deterrent to foreign threats at the point of cyborg-spearheaded annihilation, as well as keeping the population in line.
Today's survey showed that 64.2% of British people think that Mrs May should not not be able to continue unchecked, while 68.7% support the cessation of polls.
Jeremy 'Indy' Hiscock explained that the necropolis matched information shared by Plato, despite previous interpretations suggesting the city was a “crock of horseshit”.
Reliance on inoffensive topics has resulted in the increased popularity of vapid talking points, such as “whether Darth Vader is in the new Star Wars movie".
Fuhrman said: “I've been called a lot of things since the Brentwood case – jive turkey, bitch ass honky, milk cracker, Mark Fuhrer – but I've learned that black lives really do matter.”
After an ugly exchange, Mrs May said: “YOU BETTER TAKE CARE OF MY NUKES, HALF-PINT!”, to which Mrs Sturgeon defiantly replied: “Goan make me, soft shite.”
Rodgers was bullish as he claimed: "The boys showed a lot of character out there today – it's just frustrating that the character in question was David Brent."
There was an almost whimsical feeling at Downing Street, the gloom lifted by the wry historical footnote that David Cameron gave a cat full blown aides.
Wales' manager, squad, fans and legion of illegitimate offspring will now have to go home as there's no more balls to foot and no more matches to game.
Cthulhu's campaign manager told the media at a press conference that he has the “integrity, patience and maritime supremacy” required to protect the United Kingdom's sovereignty.
The Daily Belter 