News Ticker

Activists call for Milo Yiannopoulos to be stripped of his homosexuality

The activist group Juristruedence have called for journalist and entrepreneur Milo Yiannopoulos to be immediately stripped of his homosexuality, and have opened an online petition to enforce the defrocking on the grounds that he poses a problematic risk to identity politics.

Yiannopoulos, an openly gay provocateur and social pundit, was recently banned permanently from Twitter after his followers racially abused actor and comedian Leslie Jones, and has formed a reputation for upset with his mixture of cold hard logic and baffling non-sequiturs.

But despite this measure, many feel that the ban is insufficient punishment for the Breitbart technological editor, and Blossom Abneswaithe of Juristruedence has stated that in the event that Yiannopoulos’ vocal chords can’t be detached, the next best option is to revoke his homosexuality on an official basis.

Abneswaithe, who is married and has two adopted Guardian-reading children, formed the group in 2014 and previously campaigned to have homophobe Angela Leadsom’s bid for Conservative Leadership blocked on the grounds it would validate misogyny.

In a statement posted online alongside a link to the petition, which currently has 2,370 delicate signatures, Abneswaithe said: “Usually we’d be happy to settle with condemning this hatemonger, since we can’t actually shut him up legally, but the fact of the matter is that he’s flagrantly slandering the LGBT community with his very existence.”

“He does not represent the LGBT community, and is such a hateful and toxic influence and likely cause of homophobia with his hateful hate politics and his anti-humanity hate utterances, and it’s not an exaggeration to say that I’m a better representative for LGBT and I’m straight, what does that tell you? He problematizes all he hatefully touches with his contradictory non-binary hate hands.”

In her editorial Abneswaithe goes on to detail how Yiannopoulos’ views also serve to normalise opposition to free speech because “they promote censorship by being so heinous”, as well as warning that he “will be a terrible influence on gay children”, and then implores readers to begin referring to him as “the so-called homosexual Milo Yiannopoulos, or alternatively Luti”.


People are confused and unsure what to think due to Yiannapolous’s simultaneous homosexuality and cuntery.

This movement followed a failed effort to have Twitter release his home address to the public so they could “teach Mr Yiannopoulos how to tolerate others the hard way”, as well as a similarly unsuccessful attempt to convince Theresa May to extradite him from the United States to the United Kingdom then immediately deport and ban him.

When asked for a comment on the petition, Yiannopoulos was happy to laugh it off, telling our reporter: “Darling, if this Bosom woman or whatever her name is wants to take away my gayness, all the better, the outlaws are that much sexier anyway. And if it were to actually make me not gay then, fuck it, I suppose I’d be closer to God, who I inexplicably believe in.”

He has been backed by his devoted online following, who identify themselves as the alternative-right and responded to the Twitter ban by starting a ‘Free Milo’ campaign of terror which has already seen Paul Feig’s fax machine exploded by a deliberately directed rageball in the shape of a penis with a Swastika tattooed on it.

And one coordinator of the movement, who asked to remain anonymous but is actually called Jason Dameron, told The Daily Belter that it was vital that Yiannopoulos not only be reinstated to Twitter, but also that banning and censorship be completely banned or at least censored.

Speaking via livestream from a dark, likely smelly room, Dameron said: “This isn’t really about Milo; it’s about what he represents and what silencing him means to us, the silent majority, and it makes it clear to the world that a basic tenant of any free society is that I should be allowed to call a black woman an ape and not suffer any reprimand as long as it’s online.”

This swelling of support, which analysts have suggested is directly proportional to the opposition to Yiannopoulos and leaves a large and very uncomfortable and depressed centre ground, has even gone global, and led to ISIL leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi backing “the Greek man” in “destroying the evil gay west from the inside”.

The petition needs to reach five hundred thousands signatures before it will be addressed in Parliament, and hope of its success has already been sparked after Defence secretary Michael Fallon was overheard remarking that he’s “never had a moral issue with curing a gay before”, before adding: “That’s off the record, of course.”

About Scott Malcolm Patterson (83 Articles)
Writer. Reader. Some other stuff. Dissembling.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: