Britons opposed to poll on referendum on referendum on Brexit referendum, poll shows

Market research consultant ComRes has revealed that 61% of polled voters in Britain would be opposed to a poll on a referendum on a referendum on a second referendum of the United Kingdom leaving the EU in a poll that was taken just now, when you weren’t looking.

The results were published this morning as part of a second poll, after a first poll disclosed yesterday showed that 57% of Britons would be opposed to a second referendum, thus indicating that a fourth poll to discern whether there is support for a third poll is unlikely.

Further to yesterday’s revelations that most citizens believe that new Prime Minister Theresa May should continue without a general election being called, today’s second survey showed that 64.2% of British people think that Mrs May should not not be able to continue unchecked, while a significant 68.7% of voters support the cessation of polls.

ComRes’s second poll also revealed that 54.3% of British people wouldn’t trust a poll to paint a fence, 71.3% would holiday exclusively in the UK if it were any good, and only 28% vote the way they indicated they would in polls.

Despite the original ‘Brexit’ vote prompting a six million strong petition from remain voters to carry out a second referendum, Mrs May – who took over from a shifty looking David Cameron on 13^th July – rejected the proposal, insisting: “Brexit means Brexit means Brexit means Brexit means Brexit means Brexit means Brexit means Brexit means Brexit means Brexit means Brexit. No.”

However, a preliminary survey from rival research consultancy group VoiceFind would suggest that the ComRes survey and Mrs May’s stubbornness are unfounded, as the company revealed that they had initiated a straw poll to discover results of a potential poll on a potential referendum on a potential referendum on a future second referendum on the EU question.

VoiceFind VP Clive St. Donald told The Daily Belter: “The results are pretty significant, and it certainly suggests that the ComRes survey is quite far off the mark in saying that people don’t support a second vote on the issue, as our data says they might well do, or be, or whatever.”

She added: “From an early poll, we can see that as much as 65% of Britons polled would be in favour of a poll on a referendum on a referendum on the referendum on EU membership, and that in turn suggests they are in favour of voting for a referendum on a referendum on that third referendum, or would at least give it a ruddy good go.”

Ardent Brexiteer Boris Johnson, who was recently paddled and wedgied after his first speech as Foreign Secretary at the French embassy, dismissed the push for further referendums as “damp jiggerypokery”, and says Mrs May and her cabinet are concentrating on the future rather than the past, or the potential future of the past, or the past of the future.

Mr Johnson said: “Roffer paff, this is all, very much all, very this is all, just a silly nonsense and everything and everybody can see that it’s a lot of, croff, a lot of sour grapes, doesn’t help anyone now that the dang thing’s done and everything, we have to, we really have to move on, tiddlywink.”

ComRes spokesperson Rachel Lehcar waded in on this issue in light of VoiceFind’s claims to locating a second result pattern, defending his company’s data and insisting such discourse was inevitable.

He said: “Our survey was sound, and even if it wasn’t, it wouldn’t make any difference as far as the resultant chaos goes, there would still be people calling for a second poll on the first poll on the third referendum on the second referendum on the Brexit referendum, and to that we could just as easily conduct a fourth poll, then a fifth, until everybody bleeds from the eyes, ears and anus.”

Asked whether this could potentially disrupt democracy, Lehcar replied: “Open your eyes! This is the life we chose, the life we lead, and there is only one guarantee; none of us will see heaven.”

She refused to disclose whether ComRes would consider a poll on the second poll on the first poll on a referendum on a referendum on a second referendum, causing further confusion.