There are doubts about whether the only bubonic plague victim in the US should be president, particularly when she also has herpes, caught when she used Bill's toothbrush.
Ms Sturgeon implied that Brexit is so cataclysmically destructive it will distort the space-time continuum and regress our universe a decade during a terrifying speech.
"It's difficult to weep with anything another than laughter when a total walloper gets banned off something. Then again, free speech and stuff. I'm torn. Haha. Ha."
Theresa May ensured working conditions would be "satisfactory", but that for the good of the "all-seeing eye" it was necessary to move forward with the greater industrialisation of towns and cities to feed the British Empire.
The ban stipulates that “beachwear must be respectful of public manners and secularism”, meaning the outlawing of crucifixes, bindis, kippahs and super skinny jeans.
Police were alerted to a man of indescribable ordinariness wandering through the Swiss Alps, reportedly attempting to convince people he was recognisable.
Outrage and shock that she would be outrageous and shocking has been diluted by confusion over why “big fans of inflatables” wouldn't have inflatables.
The impression was exacerbated when Farage claimed “most Americans haven't even heard of Romania” and that the US was “copying” his “people's revolution”.
"They're hardly representative of the Scottish economy - it's no like we had to shut down the old economy and start a new one in the bottom leagues. Did we?" he added, in an obvious moment of doubt.
Olav was given to the Norwegian army, as part of a tradition of donating the country's best and brightest to our Norse masters, a throwback to the Viking era.
UEFA said: “Their fans showing Palestinian flags was intended to offend Israelis, and the tricolour can have the same effect on the English and Northern Irish."
Video evidence has emerged where Lochte can be seen confusedly walking head first into a door repeatedly until it splinters while proclaiming “I gotta poo poo”.
Despite being the underdog, Roberts defiantly sidestepped Cox's use of empirical data and reasoned arguments and called for empirical data and reasoned arguments.
Initially the accident was believed to be caused by bad weather, despite the tug boat captain claiming “I done be seen the beast, beast she was and fangs up the clunge”.
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