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Tim Farron gets lost in Swiss Alps without his wife noticing

Leader of the Liberal Democrats, Tim… Something has been reported lost in the Swiss Alps, and nobody noticed nor cared, say investigators.

Police were alerted to a man of indescribable ordinariness wandering through the Swiss Alps, reportedly attempting to convince people he was recognisable.

Police inspector Jean-Paul said: “We responded to a call from Lugano in the Swiss Alps, where a member of the public had been approached by a man pleading with him to notice he was missing.

“The man in question was reportedly distressed at not being recognised, and when he proceeded to play peek-a-boo with the caller we were alerted and collected the individual.

“He is currently in custody, but no one knows where to send him, nor find anyone who recognises him in the UK. Apparently his surname is Farron. Or perhaps Maroon. We aren’t sure.”

When The Daily Belter asked Farron’s wife about his disappearance, she seemed confused, and asked: “Is he the one with the glasses? Short curly hair, usually has a hip flask? I am sorry, I do not know him.”

The person who alerted police was also unable to provide comment because he had “no memory” of the incident, and could not provide a close description of Farron.

It is believed Farron will return to the UK largely unnoticed, and proceed to fade from the memory of the world like the rest of his race, the wood-nymphs.

 

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About Ross Brannigan (32 Articles)
"Even on the most exalted throne in the world we are only sitting on our own bottom" - Montaigne.

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