Olav was given to the Norwegian army, as part of a tradition of donating the country's best and brightest to our Norse masters, a throwback to the Viking era.
Initially the accident was believed to be caused by bad weather, despite the tug boat captain claiming “I done be seen the beast, beast she was and fangs up the clunge”.
Murphy refused to clarify whether he'd interviewed for any jobs, saying that he'd “love to go over that” with us then continually refusing to address the point.
Temperatures are expected to exceed around 100,000,000C, with locals warned to wear plenty of sun tan lotion and hide in the bathtub with a mattress on top of them.
Four party leaders from the UK have teamed up in a blockbuster movie, which will see the leaders battling against the dusty ghouls of the establishment.
Scottish Tory leader Ruth Davidson has said she would turn UKIP MEP David Coburn from a toad to a prince, hitting back at derisory comments by her rival Kezia
The Daily Belter 