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Kezia Dugdale would support independence if she was a hockey player, but not if she was an astronaut

Scottish Labour leader Kezia Dugdale has sought to bring clarity to her position on Scottish independence in a wide-ranging interview.

“There are obviously some scenarios where I could see myself backing independence,” said Dugdale. “For instance, if I was an Icelandic sculptor, or a spice collector.”

The interview comes after criticism from her own party on a lack of clarity over the constitutional question.

Dugdale said she would “probably” back independence:

  • If she was a hockey player
  • If Trainspotting 2 turns out really good
  • If her dad asked really nicely
  • Or if Jeremy Corbyn became Prime Minister

But the Scottish Labour leader emphasised her enduring belief in the Union, and said she would continue to oppose independence – especially:

  • If she was an astronaut
  • If she was a tennis player
  • If she lost a game of high-stakes poker
  • Or if all she ever ate was ham

Responding to the revelations on the Daily Politics, former Labour MP Tom Harris said “HNNNNNG” right before his head exploded, in distressing scenes.

About Dan Vevers (73 Articles)
Journalist, unpublished novelist and occasional swinger, politically speaking. Don't quote me on anything.

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