Temperatures are expected to exceed around 100,000,000C, with locals warned to wear plenty of sun tan lotion and hide in the bathtub with a mattress on top of them.
The Skynet mainframe acts as a deterrent to foreign threats at the point of cyborg-spearheaded annihilation, as well as keeping the population in line.
Scottish Tory leader Ruth Davidson has said she would turn UKIP MEP David Coburn from a toad to a prince, hitting back at derisory comments by her rival Kezia
The Daily Belter 