Corbyn: So, Roy, I heard you are free?

Roy Hodgson has revealed the Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn phoned him after England’s dismal defeat against Iceland last night, offering him a place in his Shadow Cabinet.

Hodgson resigned after a 2-1 thumping of his English side – valued at over £600m – to a team coached by a part-time dentist from a country with more volcanoes than football players.

Hodgson said in a press conference afterwards: “I have been approached by the Labour leader, who was kind enough to offer me a role in his Shadow Cabinet.

“The position has not yet been fully elaborated, but he said he could fit me in somewhere in the Defence department.”

Former Scotland First Minister Alex Salmond said the announcement was “laughable”, and added: “It is probably the closest Hodgson will ever come to a Trophy Cabinet – definitely an own goal by Jeremy on this one.”

Meanwhile, France have called for a full deportation of all England fans, but with more positions to fill in the Shadow Cabinet every day job opportunities have never been better back home.