Cameron: Voting the wrong way in referendum I forced on you would doom mankind

Voting to leave the EU is “an option I gave you” but is “not an option”, David Cameron has said.

The Prime Minister insisted that the EU referendum – which was all his idea – was still a good idea, but that people had to be careful not to accidentally usher in the apocalypse.

“That would be bad for Britain, bad for Europe, and bad for the Cosmic Order of All Things,” said Cameron

The Prime Minister added he hoped that putting the European issue to bed in such “a democratic, empowering way” would be his enduring legacy, but that this could only happen if the public voted the same way as the political and business establishment.

“The other way lies evils that I can barely comprehend, let alone speak,” said Cameron. “But I wanted to at least give you the option.”

A spokesman for Vote Leave responded in a written statement:

“Camron is treason personifyed, and he looks like a girl. Boris Johnson for Prime Minstrel. They keep saying Leave Bad, but Leave not Bad, Leave Good, Leave Very Good, Hurrah Hurrah Hurray! Rool Britannia, Britannia Roolz the thing. We Brits are sick of them Bulgrarians taking our land.”

The EU referendum will be held on 23 June and promises to be a good laugh.