SNP projected to win more seats than actually exist

The Scottish Parliament is to be thrown into crisis after early predictions suggest the SNP will win more seats than there actually are in Holyrood.

The SNP have been projected to win over 150 seats tonight as the votes are counted in the Scottish Parliament election.

This is over 20 more than are currently available at Holyrood.

Contingency plans are currently in place to convert a disused ice cream shop in Portobello into a makeshift second chamber.

An SNP source said: “While the signs are encouraging, we’ll take nothing for granted. That’s why it has to be both votes, both chambers SNP, with both hands, and feet.”

Scottish Labour, who claim to be having “a great night at Sub Club”, said the SNP’s Musselburgh plans were “arrogance personified”.

Across the country, breathless commentators await the results, their pretend excitement masking a tedious sense of inevitability.