Labour celebrate most peaceful 24 hours in recent history Fireworks were lit outside Labour HQ, and troops of Ewoks played the drums on plastic replicas of Owen Smith's and Angela Eagle's heads. September 25, 2016
Smith and Corbyn pull out after Labour contest revealed as ‘not a gaffe-off’ Smith has said the decision will give him more time to spend with his ISIS sweetheart Lionel, and Jeremy has nothing specific to say on the matter. September 11, 2016
Balls derides Corbyn’s ‘leftist utopia’ and un-Tony & Gordon approach Balls believes that Corbyn's “efforts to create a left wing utopia” do not reflect the philosophy of the party created by Tony Blair and Gordon Brown. August 29, 2016
Corbyn team claims train ‘literally packed with unseen rams’ in Virgin row Sir Richard Branson tweeted footage which shows Corbyn walking past unreserved seats, as well as a woman holding a banana in a potential hate crime. August 24, 2016
Dugdale divides Scottish Labour to find unity under Owen Smith Dugdale was “fine” with deputy Alex Rowley supporting Corbyn, saying: “Nice career he's got there. Would be a shame if something happened to it.” August 22, 2016
ISIS are alright, you just have to scratch them under the ears, insists Owen Smith Smith also revealed he had been writing to and visiting several convicted ISIS members in prison, and had even forged a romantic link with one. August 17, 2016
Owen Smith demands trial by combat Corbyn is said to be considering communications director Seumas Milne for his champion, due to his experience in underground Russian fight clubs. August 8, 2016
Jeremy Corbyn announces parents’ night for MPs Mr Corbyn said if all of the MPs were well-behaved, he'd give them an apple, as he would a horse. July 22, 2016
Corbyn unveils self as Batman to boost re-election hopes Mr Corbyn finally outed himself as the caped crusader and put an end to decades of mystery as well as explaining his visible and perpetual tiredness. July 21, 2016
Eagle’s flight leaves Smith & Corbyn to fight bore war Eagle said of Corbyn: “I think Jeremy is a good man, and I do like him, but he's no leader. And he's also a useless old cunt and I hate him.” July 19, 2016
People reminded of Labour’s existence as some bloke launches leadership bid The nation was gripped by a collective double take and “oh, yeah” today as some random bloke launched his bid to become leader of Labour. July 17, 2016
The Daily Belter 