Raab hails ‘superb record-keeping’ as UK ‘tops coronavirus deaths table’ Raab dismissed “unfair” statistical comparisons to other European countries, since “we cannot trust their smelly figures." May 5, 2020
Johnson pledges new ‘healing camps’ to ‘make Britain done again’ A characteristically dishevelled and urine-scented Johnson was giving his first speech since election victory. December 14, 2019
Rees Mogg claims he “wouldn’t have left trench” in WWI He said he would have insisted on a new strategy to locate a young Adolf Hitler and extirpate him. November 11, 2019
Desiccated corpse of Oliver Cromwell made Scottish Secretary Dominic Raab is Defence Secretary due to his “geography and geo, Geovanni Da Vinci, geo-political hubbaballoo”. July 24, 2019
PM Boris Johnson calls for ‘wibbly bibbly’ spirit Mr Johnson did not take any press questions, and raced away in the direction of Downing Street on a large milk float with his face painted on it. July 24, 2019
Jeremy Hunt begs Ruth Davidson to withdraw endorsement In an emotional plea to the Scottish Tory leader, Hunt said he 'has a family'. June 27, 2019
Johnson ‘looking forward to visiting the old colonies’ as Foreign Secretary Johnson said that he's “looking forward to visiting the old colonies” and “seeing how the Kanakas have fared”. July 14, 2016
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