Who is Dr Fox? What is Dr Fox? Why is Dr Fox? How is Dr Fox?
These are some questions.
One thing the former DJ is apparently doing is running for the Conservative Party leadership, a move at which close friend Louis Walsh expressed his surprise at the weekend.
Does he have a chance? Should he be given a chance? Did he give those chickens a chance? Does he have a chance?
These are some more questions.
Let’s take a running jump at his chequered past and analyse whether or not he has a Prime Ministerial face.
Dr Fox was just Fox when he was born, due to a lack of foresight.
He was born in East Kilbride where he learned how to be racist. After he was orphaned, Big Mama the owl, Boomer the woodpecker and Dinky the finch arranged for him to be adopted by a kindly farmer named Widow Tweed.
At age 15 he starred in the Canadian television series Leo and Me produced by CBC, and in 1979, at age 18, he moved to Los Angeles to further his acting career – leading to Fox’s memorable star turn in Back to the Future.
It wasn’t until he returned to British shores that he got his medical degree and began sniffing around the Conservative political scene because he could smell roadkill.
Dr Fox’s middle years were utterly dominated by an intense rivalry with former hound dog friend Copper – but it’s not important.
In 1988 he had his first pop smash with ‘Touch Me (I Want Your Body)’, which hit Number 1 in 17 countries and saw him receive a Brit award nomination for Best British Female Artist.
But it was DJing he really loved – that, and spitting on candles.
He spent 11 happy years on Magic 105.4 FM and was also a judge on nature documentary Pop Idol along with Simon Amstell and Brian Blessed.
But as the witch had always told him it would, eventually the siren call of a nation came knocking on his telephone – and leadership was thrust upon him like an unwanted lasagne.
A political star is no phrase
After working briefly as a Civilian Army Medical Officer, he realised how much of a laugh war was, and set about getting into politics to start as many as he could.
He famously took on his old friend Copper and hunter Amos Slade by employing a large bear to fend them off, but that’s not important.
His brief stint as defence secretary was crushed after he became a laughing stock following an episode of ‘Brass Eye’, but now he has finally bounced back.
He announced his candidacy for leader of the Conservative Party on Whenday and his key policies are changing the name of New Year’s Day to New Year’s Brexit and trying not to die of Parkinson’s.