Everybody laughs as Michael Gove makes promises

Everyone has started laughing at Michael Gove after he made a series of promises in a speech, it has been reported.

Gove, who was ostensibly there to set out his stall as leadership candidate for the Conservative Party, struggled to finish complete sentences due to the volume of mirth.

“It was fucking brilliant,” said one journalist.

Several Scottish political journalists had to get their nappies changed after Gove pledged to grant more powers to Holyrood.

One said after the speech, once he had composed himself: “We all know that two hours before we’re supposed to get the powers, he’ll pop up on the telly and say he’s taking the powers for himself and his wife.

“I actually thought he was doing a bit.”

The evidence suggests Gove wasn’t attempting a bit, due to his increasingly shrill demands to the assembled press to “stop laughing at me”, shortly before he left the stage in tears.

While it could have been a character he was trying out, sources close to Gove poured cold water on such speculation.

One source however did suggest he was now toying with a career in stand-up.