Scottish independence movement in annual self-flagellation festival

Scottish independence campaigners are today taking part in their annual ‘Day of Awhinge’ self-flagellation festival on the streets of Scottish cities.

Typical games include ‘Pin The Tail on Whoever is Most Destroying the Indy Movement’, ‘New Media Weight Throw’ and ‘Guess the Wings Over Scotland Insult’.

A new event is to be added to this year’s festivities, a fun-filled game for all the family called ‘Hide But Don’t Seek Til After Indy’.

The organiser of the festival, Alan Cochrane, said:

“This occasion is always a brilliant opportunity for the wide, diverse pro-independence community to vent their bilious frustrations at one another in an inchoate, impersonal format.”

Off-the-record, Cochrane added: “Mwa ha ha ha ha. Ha.”

In this year’s headline event, rapper and destroyer of worlds, Loki, is to take on a small ginger dog in a cage fight.

Grassroots streaming website Independence Live will be broadcasting the fight online.