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Cameron eyes Aston Villa prize

Embattled Prime Minister, David Cameron, has stated he has not ruled out the possibility of taking up a managerial position in “err… Aston Villa.”

The PM, who is under pressure to resign following the news he holds shares in an offshore account, said he had been approached by the stricken club, who currently face relegation.

Mr Cameron, an avid “err… Villa” fan, said it would be an “honour” to take up the top job at the Villans. He added:

“Being a huge fan of West – umm… Aston Villa, it would be a pleasure to manage the club.

“I feel I can bring a lot to the table. Myself and the club are in the same boat, and I hope I could have a phoenix-from-the-ashes legacy to leave, should things get a little sticky at Number 10.”

When asked what players Cameron said he would bring to the club, he indicated “a very talented young man – you might have heard of him – Luis Suarez” could be swayed.

“Also, Ruth – our Scottish leader – would be on my wish list.”

Mr Cameron stressed his priority is as Prime Minister, but noted a “Leave” vote in the EU referendum could harm future hopes of “umm… Villa” getting into Europe.

Aston Villa have won one match in 12 games, and are bottom of the league.

About Ross Brannigan (32 Articles)
“It is worth ascending unexiting heights if for nothing else than to see the big ones from nearer their own level.” - Nan Shepherd

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