Temperatures are expected to exceed around 100,000,000C, with locals warned to wear plenty of sun tan lotion and hide in the bathtub with a mattress on top of them.
Once they're done yammering away, MPs will decide whether to renew the penis-shaped nuclear arsenal, scrap it and sell it to the North Koreans or dump it on the Welsh.
The Skynet mainframe acts as a deterrent to foreign threats at the point of cyborg-spearheaded annihilation, as well as keeping the population in line.
The Daily Belter 