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Satirists on strike after Dick Braine named leader of Ukip

His name is Dick Braine.

Satirists have gone on strike after Ukip announced its new leader as Dick Braine, citing “impossible working conditions”.

The Spoofers’ Guild said that after a very trying couple of years, the fact that someone called Dick Braine now leads a political party is a “kick in the teeth” for all those trying to milk current affairs for laughs.

In an open letter, the satirists’ federation vowed a complete shutdown of all satirical outlets “until such a time as Dick Braine either changes his name, or we receive an adequate offer of compensation”.

The Dick Braine debacle is the latest in a string of blows to the £1trn industry, the latest being Dom Joly’s successful ascension to Number 10 as the character Boris Johnson.

Dick Braine was elected to succeed Gerard Batten as leader of the once-formidable party after he drove it into electoral oblivion by going Full Racist Nutter.

Dick Braine won 53% of the vote in a ballot of all 12 members, followed by Fanny Breeches on 20%, Mike Ockhurts on 14% and former deputy leader Lew Bricant on 12%.

Dick Braine. Dick Braine.

His name is Dick Braine.

Dick Braine.

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About Hans Wringing (6 Articles)
Paid-up member of the new liberal intelligentsia

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