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Gordon Brown astonished to trace lineage back to the planet Krypton

Gordon Brown has revealed his astonishment after learning that his ancestors trace back to distant planet Krypton.

The former Prime Minister told all in his new book, “I’m Related to Superman: A Fact Worth Sharing”.

Mr Brown said: “As part of my new book, I undertook a simple DNA test to trace what I presumed at the time were my simple Scottish ancestors.

“It turns out I’m from an alien planet called Krypton, and that Superman is my third cousin, which makes sense I suppose.”

He added: “I’ve always wondered about my superhuman strength. When the banks were falling and the human race needed a saviour, I held up the world’s financial institutions with these bare hands.

“Except for Lehman Brothers. I was sweating a lot and my hand slipped.”

The former Prime Minister said he was proud to call himself part-Kryptonian, saying his ancestral planet’s contribution to mankind proved the benefits of immigration.


“These bare hands.”

About Dan Vevers (73 Articles)
Journalist, unpublished novelist and occasional swinger, politically speaking. Don't quote me on anything.

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