Queen Elizabeth announces succession plans

Queen Elizabeth II has announced there will be a test of mettle to settle confusion over her succession – by use of the recently discovered Sword in the Stone.

The Queen recognised her grandson, Prince William the Duke of Cambridge, had been eyeing the succession of her son Charles to the throne.

So as to diffuse tension, the Queen announced the two would square-off, and whoever pulled out the sword from the stone would be “Rightwise King Born of all England.”

In an unexpected live broadcast, the Queen said: “Much discussion has been had in the press of late over my succession.

“It is for this reason I have proposed a test, designed to decide the true heir to the throne – my son, or my grandson.”

The Queen noted Charles was now passed retirement age, but said he should still be in with a shot of succeeding her.

The sword Excalibur was found recently in a lake in Wales, but an exact location has been withheld, pending ongoing investigations.

The Queen added: “The contest shall be held on the St George’s Day following the end of my reign, and the victor must, as decreed in my will, be accepted as the new King.”

There is rumour of several rival competitors, with word the Duchess of Cambridge, William’s own wife, may even be up for the challenge.